I’m not sure what you are arguing for, Tessa. Are you suggesting that feeling love and belonging is a bad thing? That standing un-supported on your own two emotional feet is the ideal arrangement? I understand from your previous comment that this is your experience. Has being without love and belonging been good for you? Is it something that you wish on others? Hoping that others have emotional strength and resilience makes sense but recalling a mythical good-old-days as a way to blame people for what they are feeling seems cruel.